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Actions Say “I Love You” Louder Than Words - 1 John 3:16-18

By Steve Jeantet | August 9, 2007

“I love you.”  They may be the three most powerful words in the English language.  They bubble with emotion and overflow with eager anticipation and expectation.  James, I’m sure that you remember the first time you spoke those words to Kelly and the first time you heard her say them back.  And Kelly, I’m sure you remember the first time James said “I love you” and what it was like to say the same to him.  You could feel your heart start to race and this big knot starts to form in your stomach and your lips quiver in excitement with each syllable.

And today we are gathered here that the two of you might declare your love for one another in the presence of God, your family and your friends.  You will take a vow to the other and proclaim your love and loyalty.  And that truly is an amazing thing.  You see, it was God himself who instituted marriage.  It was the very first human relationship.  God took Adam and he took Eve and brought them together as man and wife.  Just as we read how God honored their relationship, we are here today to recognize how God has honored your relationship.

Yet our passage from 1 John 3 carries a warning: Words are not enough.  Listen again to verse 18, “Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.”  The words “I love you” are only as powerful as the actions that lie beneath and behind them.  Just as a house is only as strong as its foundation, those words are only as powerful as the actions that provide their foundation.

I’d like to speak to each of you individually for just a moment as to what it means to love not just with words, but in action.

James, ever since I met you I have admired your perseverance, dedication and discipline in your running.  After a late night, it’s real easy for me to push snooze on the alarm instead of getting up to go to the gym.  But not you.  You have disciplined yourself to get up, lace up your running shoes and head out the door.  Some days it’s really easy.  You wake up and look out the window and see the sun shining, it’s 75 degrees with a slight breeze.  Running on this day is a great joy.  But some days you wake up and it’s 40 degrees, overcast and raining.  But you still get up, lace up your shoes and go for your run.

My challenge to you today is to apply that same discipline and dedication to marriage.  Some days, you will wake up and being married is the greatest thing in the world.  You roll over and see Kelly and your face will light up in joy.  But there will be days in your marriage like those cold, rainy, dreary days where you will want to do anything but serve her and care for her.  There will be a sink full of dirty dishes, bills piling up on the desk to be paid and Kelly will be sick.  The only thing you will be able to think about is all the work you have to do and the papers you have to write.  Those are the days where if you lace up your running shoes and serve Kelly, your actions will say, “I love you” in ways that words never could.

And Kelly, let me speak to you for just a moment.  I have seen and heard the beauty of the way you play piano.  But that was not a skilled learned overnight.  Years and years of practice went into it.  Those rainy days that were hard for James to go running were the easy ones to sit in front of the piano.  It was those bright sunny days where you looked out the window and saw your friends playing yet you were stuck there in front of your piano that were so challenging.  Some days your fingers would hurt and the last thing you wanted to play the piano, yet you were committed to practicing.
My challenge to you today is to love James the same way.  When your fingers hurt, when you look out the window and think of all the other things you would rather be doing, practice loving James.   As he heads into law school, there are going to be some late nights where he is stuck in the library reading from 50 pound law books.  His eyes will be glued to page after page in those books.  On those nights, choose to practice love just like you practiced the piano.  Surprise him with a special snack or a little present.  Those little acts of service will say, “I love you” in ways that words never could.

Verse 16 puts it quite succinctly, “And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.”  That is the challenge in marriage: to lay down your life for the other.  James, you are to lay down your life for Kelly.  And Kelly, you are to lay down your life for James.  To tell them you love them not just with words, but with action.

And now, for all of us, I don’t want us to miss what comes right before that command in verse 16, “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us.”  The only way that you will be able to love each other is because Christ loved you first.  God didn’t just say, “I love you” with words, but in action by giving Christ to die for each of you.  Christ’s love is an example for how you are to love each other.  But it is more than just an example.  Christ, who died and rose again, has given his Spirit to live in each of you to teach you the depths of God’s love for you.  It is only by that Spirit that you will be able to truly love.  Because God loved you not just with words, but in action, you are to serve one another because actions will say “I love you” in ways that words never could.  Amen.

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